dark humor jokes just click once

  • What's the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages? Marriage
  • Why did the bicycle fall over?         😆                                                  Because it was two tired.
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  • My therapist told me to embrace my fears. So I hugged a clown.
  • What's brown and sticky? A stick.
  • Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
  • What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Snowballs.
  • I used to hate facial hair... but then it grew on me.
  • Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
  • What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
  • Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  • I'm not saying I'm Batman. I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room.
  • Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  • What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.😆😆
  • I failed math so many times at school, I can't even count.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
  • I have a joke about unemployed people, but it doesn't work.
  • What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
  • Parallel lines have so much in common... it's a shame they'll never meet.
  • My grandpa always said dying is like sleeping. He died in his sleep last week.
  • What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • I told my wife she was overreacting. She tied me to a chair with duct tape.

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